uncovering our hypocrisy surrounding male body image.

Do we love to hate toned physiques? Or do we hate that we love them? This is the question queer journalist Ryan Cahill aims to explore in this month’s polari article. speaking with a psychologist, OnlyFans creator and ex editor of GayTimes magazine, Ryan reveals whether we’ve made progress morally but sexually, not quite so much… and maybe that’s ok?

Since the late 2010s, we’ve been living in an era of body positivity. Gossip magazines have somewhat shifted away from critiquing the bodies of public figures, we’re seeing brands pivot towards more diverse casting during fashion week and there’s been an influx of body positivity influencers – both male and female – popping up across social media. But despite this, have our sexual desires shifted? Are we experiencing cognitive dissonance* when it comes to male body image within the queer community? 

As gay men, it’s easy to acknowledge that we’re constantly being served toned physiques, whether that is through social media, OnlyFans, queer genre movies or TV shows, Grindr or even advertising – but it’s also important to acknowledge that the omnipresence of the adonis body is potentially driven by us – the community.  While preaching for body positivity and advocating for diverse physiques in mainstream media, our sexual desires predominantly prioritise one form – the ultra muscular adonis body akin to a Marvel superhero or an Olympic swimmer. 

Take OnlyFans for example, which appears to be dominated by ultra ripped content creators. They tend to have the largest share of subscribers and a quick look at their social media channels show that they’ve amassed some hefty followings – yet, we are the people who are choosing to follow, like, share and subscribe, while some content creators with non-muscular physiques go under-subscribed or even unnoticed. On a more mainstream scale, look at the “Rush” video from Troye Sivan. It caused outrage due to a lack of body diversity and yet still managed to clock up 36m YouTube views and was heralded as one of the Best Music Videos of 2023 according to the likes of Dazed Magazine and Pitchfork. It makes you wonder, are our sexual appetites at odds with our moral compass?

Joseph Galliano-Doig MBE, the co-founder and director of Queer Britain served as the editor of Gay Times magazine from 2006 to 2009, overseeing an extensive relaunch that was shortlisted for Stonewall's Magazine of the Year award. The magazine has been around since the 1980s and continues to be one of the oldest, and most important pieces of queer media that we have on the market, covering everything from pop culture to queer celebrities and health to politics. He recalls that during his tenure at the magazine, print covers that featured semi-nude muscular men were often the most popular amongst readers. “I often experienced cognitive dissonance that on the one hand we were working to create a message where people felt able to honestly and enjoyably be themselves in all their wonderful diversity, and on the other hand, commercially prioritising one standard of attractiveness because when we veered too far, the fear was that sales would be impacted.” He explains. “The conflict for me personally was that intellectually and emotionally I wanted to share an inclusive message to the communities, but on the other hand, when we strayed too far, sales dipped - or a fear that sales would dip - and there would be anxieties around notions of gender and gender presentation, ethnicity and body types. Yet I also understood that whatever I might like to think, I was personally more likely to pick up a magazine that has someone I perceived as sexy. I was aware of a contradiction between how I wanted things to be, the market and my own drivers and unconscious behaviours.” 

On a psychological level, issues around body image within the community are commonplace. Dr. Glenn Mason is an LGBTQIA+ focused psychologist. He says that he regularly meets individuals who are struggling with issues relating to body image, whether that’s Body Dysmorphic Disorder, insecurities around penis size, hair and balding, or skin appearance. When it comes to our sexual desires, he believes this is somewhat attached to our idea of what we perceive to be successful. “A lot of the clients that I work with do present with these issues and there are a lot of concerns around their body image and appearance. Attitude [magazine] did a survey in 2017 and they found that 84% of gay men were really concerned or anxious around their appearance.” He says. “Around the toned physique, I think it is really hard for us to get away from that.  If someone is concerned about their appearance and how they view themselves, it’s hard to avoid triggers that might activate some of their thinking around this. If folk in the community are seeing these people who have got a really toned physique, they may see them as successful – they’ve got sexual partners, they’ve got relationships, social media followers. It’s the idea that “If I could only be this way, I could be more sexually appealing and successful in my life.” In this sense, he suggests that the attraction is both a sexual affinity towards these figures, whilst also hoping to achieve a similar physique believing that it will result in success for ourselves – financially, romantically and sexually. We sexualise toned bodies, hence the support for ripped content creators on OnlyFans and social media, but we also somewhat fixate on them as we hope to achieve this body type for ourselves. 

With that in mind, how much of our own desire to bulk up and build muscles is from wanting to be sexually desired? For people interested in starting an OnlyFans, how much does body image play into the confidence to set up an account, and be certain that you’re going to gain the following to make it worthwhile? 

Zander Hodgson is a British born, LA-based model and actor who recently joined OnlyFans as a content creator. He feels that his body has definitely played a part in his ability to “market” himself, both on Instagram and OnlyFans. “As soon as I discovered the adverts for Calvin Klein and Abercrombie and Fitch, that was the goal! I do feel like if I’m going to put myself out there on OnlyFans and people are paying to see it, they will expect a certain body type,” He shares. “I wanted to feel good about my own body before doing it, but to be honest, it wasn’t as much about my body for me, I had to get my head in that frame of mind. I came from a bit more conservative and religious upbringing so I had to shed some of that judgement. But I know I’m more than my body.” Recently, Zander has shifted his IG content to more around his opinions, thoughts and feelings, and has found that these more reflective posts are garnering just as much traction as his more body-focused content. When it comes to the importance of a toned physique, he suggests we may be overthinking it. “This is life. Initially we’re attracted to the physical, then we get to know the person more and decide if we want to stick around.”

Realistically, there is no quick fix for our cognitive dissonance around male body image, and it’s undeniable that our desire for body positivity is somewhat at odds with our sexual desires. It will likely take decades until we have been through the necessary evolutionary processes required for us to be at peace with bodies regardless of how they look. That much is evident if we just look back at our perception of male body image through the ages – take Tudor times for example, where a fuller figure was more desirable because it was seen to represent wealth and stability, or look at the 1970s, when an ultra lean figure was inspired by the likes of Bowie, The Beatles and Mick Jagger, who were superstars of the day. Through continued exposure to a variety of body types, we hurry along that evolution, we encourage the shift in our own sexual desires by seeing different body times in sexual situations. The truth is that we shouldn’t feel guilty about our sexual desires, and we shouldn’t feel compelled to change our bodies to be sexually desired. When it comes to the future, Zander offers this: “I see a lot of the community has been restricted and felt shame about ourselves for a long time. We have felt like we are unlovable so some of us find ways to compensate. We either join the race to try to have the ‘perfect body’ in order to be loved or some sit on the sidelines judging and neither really help. I wonder if more of the community truly accepts themselves and others the way they are, whatever body type, we might actually see some change in the direction of body positivity.”

*Cognitive dissonance occurs when a person's behaviour and beliefs do not complement each other or when they hold two contradictory beliefs.